Cat and mouse?
Is simultaneity possible? Who should make the first commitment?
The fiction novel ‘Short of Love’ is about a couple for whom commitment is ephemeral and elusive despite intervening lovers and children. There is overthinking in this satirical treatment of the vulnerability of love.
Moving away together?
Job relocation out of town can bring conflict if one of a couple is reluctant to move. To stay together, there is a fair and scientific way to resolve the impasse that can respect their ‘inertias’: different propensities to keep on doing what they have been doing. This method is explained in my novel ‘$hort of Love’, Chapter 66 Relocation Refusal. When a couple cannot agree, should it be for want of trying? Book information: http://www.martinknox.wordpress.com
CAN ALONENESS BECOME A PHOBIA?
Waiting for a phone call or a message from a prospective lover has uncertainty that can worsen feelings of aloneness.
‘Aversion to aloneness can be treated by habituation similar to a dog phobia’, reports Helen Thomson, ’The Agony of Waiting’, New Scientist, 19 October 2019, p43. Gradual exposure can reduce fear.
Alternatively, throwing yourself into an engrossing task can provide helpful diversion. Aloneness is not a pathological condition.
Robin Williams said ’the worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone’.
The Roman philosopher Cicero said that he was never less lonely than when he was alone.
CAN VULNERABILITY BE HEDGED?
The end of a relationship can bring uncertainty.
Individuals differ in how they respond to it.
Relief, worry about the future, even paralysis through fear of the unknown depends on their ‘tolerance’ for uncertainty.
A ‘vulnerability factor’ contributes most to anxiety disorders, according to Helen Thomson, ’The Agony of Waiting’, New Scientist, 19 October 2019, p43.
In the new satirical fiction novel “Short of Love” by Martin Knox, the central character Tom uses a commodity trading strategy ‘a straddle” to ‘hedge’ his vulnerability to love.
Will this ensure Tom’s tolerance for the uncertainty of love?